FFXIV Endwalker Guide: Smileton
Spoiler warning: This guide contains information from the FFXIV Endwalker Patch 6.0 Main Scenario!!!
FFXIV Endwalker Guide: Smileton
Smileton is a Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker dungeon. It’s available at level 90 as part of the quest Cutting the Cheese. It can be completed via the duty finder and is part of the Patch 6.0 Expert Duty Roulette.
Never be afraid to take a dungeon at your own pace, but for the purposes of this guide, we’re going to be speaking terms of multiple group pulls.
Encounters 1 & 2
3 Smiley Wanderer, 2 Smiley Weeper, & 1 Smiley Lunatender
- Empty Beleaguer – A circular AoE centered on the player with highest hate from the Smiley Wanderer.
- La Vie En Epines – A linear AoE aimed at a random player by the Smiley Lunatender.
Encounters 3 & 4
3 Smiley Panopt, 2 Smiley Wanderer, 1 Smiley Lunatender, & 1 Smiley Thinker
- Retinal Glare – A conal AoE aimed at a random player by the Smiley Panopt.
- Negative Whirl – A circular AoE centered on the Smiley Thinker.
- Lines of Fire – The boss will tether to the faces on one side of the arena or the other and they’ll fire rows of AoE across the floor. Alternating across the floor, there will be 3 thin lines that just do damage, and 4 thick lines that do minimal damage and apply blue “Smiley Face” or red “Frowny Face” debuffs depending on which way up the face idol to the side is sitting. Once you get either “Smiley” or “Frowny,” you have to make sure you’re always hit with the opposite debuff every time Lines of Fire executes. Getting hit knocks you sideways and stuns with a Down for the Count debuff for 5 seconds. Getting 3 stacks of either debuff outright kills you.
- Lines of Fire
- Off My Lawn – Old man Face will knock all players 1 row width back with this. You can use knock-back nullifiers with this, but you won’t have it up often enough for every instance.
- Temper, Temper – Each player will be targeted with a pink, traveling, AoE circle, so make sure that you spread out while you’re being knocked back by Off My Lawn. This ability has no cast gauge.
- Temper’s Flare – Arena-wide damage.
- Upside Down – The face idols on the left and right get flipped, activating the reverse faces.
- Lines of Fire + Off My Lawn – Makes sure that you’ll be knocked into the lane you need by standing 1 lane in the wrong direction.
- Upside Down*
- Lines of Fire + Temper, Temper – Stand in the correct lane while spreading out the AoEs.
- Lines of Fire + Off My Lawn
- Heart on Fire IV – A tank buster.
- Temper’s Flare
- *Repeats from Upside Down until defeat.
Encounters 5 & 6
2 Smiley Metalloid, 1 Smiley Scraper, & 5 Smiley Kisser
- Headspin – A circular AoE centered on the Smiley Scraper.
- Lattice – A cross-shaped AoE centered on the Smiley Metalloid.
Encounters 7 & 8
3 Smiley Scraper, 3 Smiley Kisser, & 1 Smiley Daphnia
- Acid Stream – A circular AoE centered on a random player by the Smiley Daphnia.
- Circular Saw – Arena-wide damage.
- Leap Forward – The boss moves to the center of the arena, turns and points an arrow in a random direction. It will then jump there, creating a large, circular AoE.
- Print Workers – The 2 bunny bots tether to the Frameworker and create copies of it. The 2 copies will point in a direction and jump that way just like the boss does in Leap Forward, then they’ll disintegrate.
- Omnidimensional Onslaught – Four thin, conal AoEs indicators will extend from the boss, followed shortly by 4 more that fill the spaces between the first set of 4. Stand in the space where the second set appears until the first set resolves, then step into that newly cleared space.
- Print Workers – Make sure to observe where the bunny bots have moved and are now facing.
- Print Workers*
- Leap Forward – While the bun-bots do their work, the boss itself will move to the middle and choose a direct for its leap. After the bunny’s creations do their leaps, the boss with do its.
- Print Workers + Omnidimensional Onslaught – Avoid the thin conals on the part of the arena unaffected by the bunny leaps.
- Steel Beam – A tank buster.
- Circular Saw
- *Repeats from Print Workers until defeat.
Encounters 9 & 10
3 Smiley Supporter, 3 Smiley Dynamite, & 1 Smiley Regolith
- Fire Fighter – A donut AoE centered on the Smiley Supporter.
- Burst – A circular AoE centered on the Smiley Dynamite.
- Orogenic Storm – A circular AoE centered on a random player by the Smiley Regolith.
- Metamorphic Blast – A conal AoE aimed at random player by the Smiley Regolith.
Encounters 11 & 12
3 Smiley Supporter, 2 Smiley Regolith, & 1 Smiley Sweeper
- Sewer Water – A half-circular AoE aimed at the player with highest hate by the Smiley Sweeper.
The Big Cheese
- Explosives Distribution – A flashing bomb will show up on both conveyer belts to the left and right. One of the conveyer belts will have a series of triple arrow indicators, while the other while have singles. The triple will move fast, putting that bomb at the back of the arena, and the single will move more slowly, putting that bomb at the front. The resulting bomb placements will leave a safe space in the front on one side, and one in the back on the other.
- Piercing Missile – A tank buster with splash damage. Avoid your shield buddy.
- Dispense Explosives – The boss will put land mine style explosive on the arena floor in the very front and very back of one side, leaving a clear space between them and the other side of the floor completely open. Getting hit by these does damage, but also knocks a player back.
- Explosives Distribution – While the Dispense Explosives land mines are still in play, you’ll have to dodge the flashing conveyer belt bombs. If the triple arrow side is the side with no land mines, simply stand at the front of the arena on the land mine free side. If the single arrow side is the land mine free side, stand at the back of the arena.
- Explosive Power – The Big Cheese will detonate the land mines. Be mindful of where you’re standing, as these explosions are actually larger than the pulse that the bombs display during their time on the field.
- Explosives Distribution
- Left/Right Disassembler* – This is a linear laser that the boss will shoot down one half of the arena. His right is your left, which means you can stand on the side of the arena that the ability tells you. Right Disassembler? Stand right, and vice-versa. This time, do this in conjunction with Explosives Distribution. Find the laser free side of the arena and go either to the front or back, depending on the arrow indicator there.
- Dispense Explosives + Explosives Distribution
- Electric Arc – A stack mechanic.
- Explosives Distribution + Left/Right Disassembler – The first thing to note is that the land mines from Dispense Explosives are still in play. This can get messy depending on the combo you get.
- Left Disassembler –
- Left land mines, fast side left – Your best bet is to go to the back right to dodge land mines and bombs, then move quickly left to avoid the laser. There is a very small triangle of safety up against the landmine, above the back bomb and beside the front bomb, but it can be risky.
- Left land mines, fast side right – You can stand in a fairly sizeable safe spot in front of the mine at the back on the left.
- Right land mines, fast side left – You can stand at the front on the left.
- Right land mines, fast side right – You can stand at the back on the left.
- Right Disassembler (Just flipped, but here it is.) –
- Right land mines, fast side right – Your best bet is to go to the back left to dodge land mines and bombs, then move quickly right to avoid the laser. There is a very small triangle of safety up against the landmine, above the back bomb and beside the front bomb, but it can be risky.
- Right land mines, fast side left – You can stand in a fairly sizeable safe spot in front of the mine at the back on the right.
- Left land mines, fast side right – You can stand at the front on the right.
- left land mines, fast side left – You can stand at the back on the right.
- Left Disassembler –
- Explosives Distribution – Once again, land mines from Dispense Explosives are still in play.
- Leveling Missile – All players are marked with pink, traveling, AoE circles. Spread out, but remember the landmines are still on the stage.
- Explosive Power – And now they’re not.
- Piercing Missile
- Violent Discharge – Arena-wide damage.
- *Repeats from Explosives Distribution + Left/Right Disassembler until defeat.
Congratulations, you’ve completed Smileton!