Thal’s Balls: And Other Ways To Curse In Eorzea


Without a doubt, one of the best moments from the Final Fantasy XIV 2014 Fan Festival in Las Vegas was the Lore Panel and a mention of the balls of one of Eorzea’s twelve deities.

We’ve come away from the Vegas Fan Fest with some great items to give away. What would be a fun, creative and borderline inappropriate way to do that?

FFXIV themed cursing contest!

Using one of The Twelve or one of the Primals, come up with a curse that the people of Eorzea might say… while also abiding by the lovely ESRB T for Teen rating that the denizens of the realm are bound to.


  • Thal’s Balls!
  • Leviathan’s scaly arse!
  • By the Matrons’ Teats!


First Place  Second Place  Runner Up (x3)
signedodinshirt doublesidedposter gebag
An “I Beat Odin” shirt from the Las Vegas Fan Fest signed by Naoki Yoshida!
Size: XL
A double sided poster from Japanese magazine Connect On! Featuring Frontlines and Anniversary artwork! Given to us by Koji Fox!
Size: 28 3/4 x 20 1/4 inches
The GE swag bag! Includes the Bag, Stress Ball and Key Chain that we gave out at Fan Fest!

Using the Google form below, submit your e-mail address, character name, world, and your curse. Entries will be accepted until November 23, 2014 at which time they will then be judged by Gamer Escape staff. Our top five will then be placed in a poll where the community will be able to vote for their favorite. Afterwards, the winners will be notified by e-mail.

Some Rules and Information

The entry period is between the time of this post and November 23, 2014 at 11:59pm EDT. The contest is open to anyone living on the planet Earth.

  • Rule #1: We will contact winners via email.  If we do not hear back from winners within 48 hours of contacting them their prize will be forfeited.
  • Rule #2: You can enter multiple times, but only once per form!
  • Rule #3: You can only win once.
  • Rule #4: During the voting period, you can vote only once.  If we suspect you of cheating and creating sockpuppet accounts you will be disqualified.
  • Rule #5: The decision of the Gamer Escape staff as to the top 5 entries is final.

To the fullest extent permitted by law, Gamerescape and Telatexo LLC shall have no liability, howsoever arising, in relation to this contest or the prize, including without limitation liability in respect of personal injury and/or any loss or damage to property. Terms & Conditions: No purchase necessary. The prizes are as stated and cannot be modified. There are no alternative prizes or cash substitutes. Any decisions to disqualify any entrant by Gamerescape and/or Telatexo LLC are final and not subject to appeal or review. In connection with all submissions using the above form, you grant to Gamerescape and Telatexo LLC the unqualified, unrestricted, unconditional, unlimited, worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual and royalty free right, license, authorization and permission, in any form or format, on or through any media or medium and with any technology or devices now known or hereafter developed or discovered, in whole or in part, to host, cache, store, maintain, use, reproduce, distribute, display, exhibit, perform, publish, broadcast, transmit, modify, prepare derivative works of, adapt, reformat, translate, and otherwise exploit all or any portion of your submission on Gamer and any other channels, services, and other distribution platforms, whether currently existing or existing or developed in the future, of Gamerescape and Telatexo LLC, for any purpose whatsoever (including, without limitation, for any promotional purposes) without accounting, notification, credit or other obligation to you, and the right to license and sub-license and authorize others to exercise any of the rights granted hereunder to Gamerescape and Telatexo LLC, in our sole discretion.

10 thoughts on “Thal’s Balls: And Other Ways To Curse In Eorzea

  1. Hey GE, you know you are displaying everyone’s email addresses and names on the spreadsheet?

    1. I noticed this too and asked them about it, oh crap. Please remove the form until you can figure out how to lock it down, yes?

      1. the names and entries don’t actually match up, but still its definitely an oversight. Please remove personal info!

  2. Is there a place we can see the winners/runner’s up/entries for hilarity purposes?

    1. We’ll pick our top 5 and make them available for voting by all to determine the prizes. We currently have no plans to release the list of other entries.

  3. Will the winners and/or whole list be shared with Koji to see how he likes em? Or maybe he might even use one in the game???

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