Spirit of the Samurai

Bucolic breezes begin buffeting the cheeks of cheerful citizens throughout the three nations as a sign that spring is in full swing, kupo! And what better way to welcome this warm weather than wielding a wooden weapon in the Feast of Swords?

This festival may have been forged with the fire of boisterous boys in mind, but lately a growing gaggle of gallant girls have expressed extreme enthusiasm in the event, too. Well, the more the merrier, I always say, so let’s munch on mochi in celebration of our stupendous new supporters, kupo!

Also, that Far Eastern armor has been “borrowed” by brigands—

Uh…should I actually agree to apply the word “again” here, kupo?

…Well, it seems the cat’s out of the case anyway. Please, I request with rectitude that you requisition the runaway regalia once again, kupo!

Yes, just gazing at the array of ardent adventurers chasing churlish cheats while carrying katanas whittled from wood makes me wish we could witness this event every y—

At any rate, please prioritize procuring the priceless panoply to placate the princes and obstruct the onslaught of oriental outrage. Over and out, kupo.

Dig deep into a rousing report on the equipment embezzlement that’s fast becoming an annual affair.