The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) is, by its own definition, ” a non-profit, self-regulatory body” which “assigns computer and video game content ratings, enforces industry-adopted advertising guidelines and helps ensure responsible online privacy practices for the interactive entertainment software industry.” You know them. They are the organization responsible for all those pretty labels shown on the right there. While we will hold back and avoid comment on the ESRB’s role, its necessity, propriety or analysis – the release of the FFXIV rating is noteworthy, although not for the rating itself. The rating received by FFXIV is “T” – for Teen – which carries a generic description of:
Titles rated T (Teen) have content that may be suitable for ages 13 and older. Titles in this category may contain violence, suggestive themes, crude humor, minimal blood, simulated gambling, and/or infrequent use of strong language.
But the real comedy is in FFXIV’s more, shall we say, descriptive rating – which is, as follows, in full:
This is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) in which players navigate a large cast of characters that engage in missions and fight the forces of evil. Players explore environments (e.g., cities, plains, caves) and battle human and fantasy creatures. Players use swords, spears, axes, firearms, and magic spells (e.g., fire balls, energy beams) to defeat enemies in real-time combat. Cutscenes depict a man being stabbed from behind, and creatures emitting splashes of purple or yellow blood when struck. Some female characters are depicted from low camera angles, with lingering camera views of their buttocks (i.e., up-skirt shots). Dialogue contains suggestive references; for example, “The netmaster’s probably up in his office polishing the mast just thinking about her,” “stick yer manhood in the forge,” and “You cheating little whore!” Several characters are referred to as drunk or drunken, while others sometimes talk about wine, rum, and grog. The word “sh*t” can be heard in the dialogue.
Honestly, we can’t do much better than to just quote the information on this one, but for all those considering the Miqo’te come September, well, watch out for yer buttocks.